Before the arrival of any baby you’re faced with several overwhelming emotions. Then, before the arrival of your second child…well, you’re faced with many, many more somewhat conflicting emotions. I remember feeling pure joy (knowing full well that I always wanted to have a least two children and was lucky enough to do so), fear (how the hell am I going to deal with having two kids under the age of two and will I really be able to love another child as much as I love my first), and guilt (like I was taking something away from my daughter by having a second). No doubt it was a very joyous moment in my life, but I couldn’t help but feel extreme guilt and fear! So, to help me sort through all of my mixed emotions, I sat down and wrote a letter to my daughter. She may never see this letter, but I know it helped me by writing it.
Here are the heartfelt words I wrote to my daughter;
Dear Sweet Girl,
As your baby brother’s due date quickly approaches, I can’t help but feel a wave of mixed emotions. Above all, I’m overwhelmingly happy. But, I can’t help but try to soak up and cherish this special time you and I are having together – while it’s just you, my little bunny.
I try to envision what lies ahead. I keep wondering what our days are going to look like with a baby boy in house. What I do know is that we’re going to be busy! If your baby brother is anything like he is inside of my belly, we’re in trouble! I know you’re little miss independent and all, but I’m still worried I won’t be able to give you the attention you need and so deserve. Our world is about to get rocked, but I’m confident that you and I will figure it out together – just like we always do – together!
I already know you are going to be a great big sister – you love taking care of your babies and can’t keep yourself from snuggling my belly. You constantly say; “a baby” (in a funny accent while cupping my belly with your hands), “happy, healthy, happy baby”, “heart beat” (you’ve been to every Doctor’s appointment with me to listen to his heartbeat), “baby boy” and “sister” (with your arms folded over one another and doing a rocking motion). You’re so smart and sympathetic at just 19 months old, it’s astonishing – you reach for my hand to help lift me up off the floor (or when I’m laying down in bed). Gosh, you really are just the sweetest, funniest, smartest little girl! And, I am so thankful to be able to stay at home with you and spend my every day watching you grow and learn about the world around you.
I hope you always know just how special and loved you are. You gave me the greatest gift of my life – you made me your mother. You are my light, my love, my angel, and will always be my baby girl. Thank you for bringing so much sunshine into my life. You’ve made me a better person, you’ve taught me to admire and enjoy the littlest wonders, how to slow down and better go with the flow, you’ve given me purpose when I had a difficult time finding myself (and my calling), and you have shown me a kind of love that I never knew existed before you. Watching the world through your eyes has been such a joyful gift. Thank you for being amazing little you, my dear sweet daughter. I love you more than you will ever know.
All of my love forever,
Then, to my great surprise, after the arrival of my baby boy all of those many, many conflicting emotions were laid to rest. Once I learned that my heart really can hold that much love, and that not only is your heart capable of loving another child just as much as your first – it’s almost as if your heart doubles in size to make room for another baby. The love is that strong! And, to put my mind further at ease, I soon realized that I didn’t take anything away from my daughter…I only added a built-in best-friend to her life.
I think one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever witnessed is seeing the love between your children…sibling love. Nothing quite prepares you for that kind of beauty. Their love is so genuine and pure. An absolute thing of beauty. I’m feel so incredibly fortunate to have been blessed with these two angels.
So, if you’re at all fearful of having a second child, possibly for these very reason, please rest assure…everything will be just fine…incredible actually.